I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
