You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
...so i touched it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
