Will you blow on my dice?
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
