i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
