He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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