he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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