How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
