Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
