your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
