You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
