My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
