ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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