There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
