So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
