Me. At least after what I've been through.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
