She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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