Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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