i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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