there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize