i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
