I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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