Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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