so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
