Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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