***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
