This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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