Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
