apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
