i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
