dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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