i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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