Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Send help, water and tortillas.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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