Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I deserve this hangover.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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