Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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