I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
