And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
