I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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