C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
