wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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