i need an iv and a liver transplant
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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