you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
