did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
