you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
