If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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