I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
