How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
