Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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