You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
