the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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