its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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