shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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