The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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