You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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