You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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