No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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