If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
