when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
