fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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