she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
