Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
