You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
