didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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