When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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