my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
