We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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