I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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