Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
