Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Randomize
