I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
