You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize