What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
