Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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