Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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