I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
