You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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