i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
