Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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