I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
high people should be assigned attendants
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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