Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
