covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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