I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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