he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
