Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
