Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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