It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
