But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
