but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
