Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
