Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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