Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
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