Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
