He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
