My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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