To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
