Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize